How I'd Love to Hate You Too
by maya selene
Summary: this is one of my better ones i think ^_^ lily has one evil attitude.


Lily Evans was pretty, James decided. She wasn't sleek or sophisticated like some of the girls he knew, or cute and giggly like the girls that followed him around after Quidditch practice, but her green eyes did make her look rather striking and her red hair set her apart from everyone else. She was sitting by herself in the carriage, next to the window reading.  
James stopped peering through the crack in the carriage door and turned to look at Sirius.  
"Okay," he said. "I'll do it."  
"You will?" Sirius' eyes glinted. "Okay. Five Galleons if you ask her out, ten if she says yes."  
"Fine," James said.  
He opened the carriage door and walked inside.  
*****  
Lily Evans was sitting by herself in the carriage, reading. Being by herself didn't bother her much. Not anymore. She was used to it. She wasn't exactly what you would call "popular" at Hogwarts, even though she had been there for six years and was beginning her seventh. Last year, Jennifer Davison had told her, "Lily, the reason you don't have any friends is because you have a real attitude problem."  
Lily didn't care. She didn't need friends. Friends were dangerous. You were expected to tell your friends all your secrets, and once they knew them they would go off and tell the world so that everyone would know and treat you as some sort of freak... that was what had happened six years ago, anyway.  
The carriage door suddenly slid open and James Potter walked in.  
"Can I sit here?" he asked, pointing to the seat across from her. "Everywhere else is full."  
Lily shrugged. Her eyes returned to her book, but she was finding it hard to concentrate. She could feel him watching her.  
"Take a picture, it'll last longer," she snapped at last.  
James looked slightly taken aback. "Sorry..." he said. There was silence for a while, then James said, "We don't know each other very well, do we? You're Lily."  
"I know," Lily said, turning a page in her book.  
James looked a bit flustered. "Ah. I'm, well, I'm James Potter."  
"So?"  
"So..." This was harder than he thought it would be. He decided to be direct. "So, I've seen you around and I thought that maybe we could go to Hogsmeade together next trip. You know, just to get to know each other a bit more."  
Lily was instantly put on alert. Tall, good-looking boys did not usually go after short, brainy girls with red hair.  
"Why?" she asked.  
"Why?" James echoed.  
"Why should I go out with you? What's the advantage? What's in it for me?"  
James shrugged. "I don't know... I just thought it might be fun. We could go to the Three Broomsticks or something."  
So. This was why he was asking her. It was a dare. He was going to get her to meet him in some restaurant, then stand her up while him and all his stupid friends hid around the restaurant, laughing at her. They were probably right outside the door now, listening to every word of their conversation. Well, two could play that game.  
"So. You want a date to Hogsmeade, huh?"  
"Yeah."  
"Do you really want a date to Hogsmeade?"  
"Yeah."  
"Do you really, really, really want a date to Hogsmeade?"  
"Yeah."  
"Well, if you hang around long enough, someone might eventually ask you," Lily said, burying her face back into her book. "Goodbye."  
She heard a snort of laughter coming from outside and grinned inwardly. So she was right. Someone had been listening.  
James mouthed at her wordlessly for a few seconds, then stood up and walked out of the carriage, slamming the door behind him. She could hear more laughter and James saying something like, "Shut-*up*, Sirius," then footsteps going back down the passage.  
Lily grinned.  
She had won that round.  
*****  
It was a real struggle trying not to fall asleep in History of Magic. Professor Binns had been rambling on for the past fifteen minutes or so, then he said something that made everyone sit up in their seats.  
"There will be an assignment you will have to do that is worth three-and-a-half NEWTS. You will be working pairs..." Everyone began making frantic eye contact with each other so they wouldn't have to go with anyone they'd rather not be with (like Peter for example). Lily noticed some girls batting their lashes at some boys at the back of the classroom.  
Immature, she thought, turning back to the teacher.  
"I will, of course, be choosing the groups..." everyone sighed and slumped back down on the tables. "Which will be, as follows... Pettigrew and Davison..." Jennifer moaned and hid her face in her hands. Peter gave a frightened squeak and toppled off his chair. Everyone ignored him.  
"...Black and Mavis..."  
"Yes!" Lily could hear Alicia Mavis say quietly beside her. She had her eyes shut and was smiling blissfully. Lily rolled her eyes and kept listening.  
"Longbottom and Lupin, Atkinson and Patil, Peterson and Ellis..."  
Lily waited impatiently for her name to be called. Professor Binns reached to the end of his parchment, but still didn't call her name out. He began to explain about the assignment, when Lily put her hand up.  
"You didn't say my name, Professor," she said.  
"What?" Professor Binns blinked at her from behind his glasses. "Oh..." He looked down at his parchment. "Evans, you'll be partnering Potter."  
What? Oh, no... not that stupid, brainless, git that had asked her out two days ago on the Hogwarts Express.  
She glanced back at James who didn't exactly look enthusiastic over the idea either. It looked like Sirius was still giving him a hard time about her stepping on his Hogsmeade offer. He had probably never been turned down by a girl. I was probably the first, Lily thought with some satisfaction.  
Professor Binns was talking again. "You will have the next few lessons as well as the rest of this one to gather as much information as you can and put it into an essay. Both of you will be doing equal amounts of work towards the essay...you may begin now."  
Everyone around her began getting up and partnering themselves off, heading out the door to the library to find information. Lily didn't move.  
James picked up his books and sauntered up to her.  
"So. Looks like we're partners."  
"Unfortunately."  
"I'll just take that as a very sarcastic comment. Where do you want to go?"  
"The library. Duh. That's where everyone get's their information."  
"Fine. Let's go."  
Lily picked up her books and stomped ahead of him. He ran to catch up.  
"Why are you mad?"  
"What makes you think I'm mad?"  
He shrugged. "Just the way you're acting."  
"For your information I'm always act this way. And if I'm mad, it's only because I have to work with a brainless git like you."  
James looked offended. "I'm not a brainless git."  
"That's what you think."  
"Why do you hate me?"  
"I never said I hated you."  
"You're sure doing a good job of acting it."  
"For God's sake, I don't hate you."  
"So you like me?"  
"Look." Lily stopped walking and whirled around to face him. "The only reason I am walking with you is because we have to do an assignment. The only reason I am talking to you is because we have to do an assignment. The only reason I am with you right now is because we have to do an assignment. So let's just do the stupid assignment so I don't have to walk with you, talk with you or be with you again."  
James threw his hands up in the air. "Fine," he said.  
They entered the library. "You take the shelves over there," Lily said, pointing. "And I'll take the ones over here."  
Lily pulled off volumes from the shelf, taking as long as she possibly could. It wasn't as though she wanted to spend more time with James Potter who probably thought every single girl in the universe was just waiting around for him to ask her out. Well, I'm not, Lily told herself. I'm not interested in boys or making friends with anyone, not now and not ever.  
She went over to where James was sitting and dumped all her books on his table then sat down next to him. James looked up from what he was reading.  
"Find anything good?" he asked.  
"How should I know? I haven't looked through these yet," Lily snapped.  
"Touchy."  
"Shut up, Potter."  
"You sound like Crabbe when you say that."  
Despite herself, Lily couldn't help giggling. Bernard Crabbe was the stupidest boy in existence and the object of a lot of teasing from James and Sirius. Unfortunately, he could never think of good enough names to get to people so his main comeback was, "Shut up, Potter."  
Lily suddenly realized that she was laughing at one of James' jokes and quickly stopped. James looked quite pleased with himself. He leaned in closer to her.  
"So," he said. "I'm asking again because you might have changed your mind already. Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me next trip?"  
"I told you before. I'm not interested."  
"Why not?"  
"Because I'm not." Lily picked up a book and began busying herself with the pages inside. Being so close to James made her edgy. "Why do you keep asking me?"  
"I was just making sure."  
"Well, now you're sure. So shut up and do some work."  
"Oookay. Sorry for asking."  
Silence fell between them as they both began to take notes. The essay was meant to be on the History of the Executions of Magical Creatures in the Ministry of Magic. As Lily flipped through the pages, she felt more and more sick. How could the Ministry have done such things to such beautiful creatures?  
She stopped at a pictured of a headless Hippogriff and shuddered. "That's sick," she muttered out loud.  
James looked over her shoulder. "That is pretty disgusting," he said. Then, as Lily shut the book, he added, "Though it probably deserved it."  
Lily stared at him. The bell went and everyone began packing up around her. "You think the Hippogriff deserved to die because it had given a little Muggle boy a scratch on the shoulder?"  
James shrugged. "Well, yeah. I mean, if it had done something to hurt someone, then it should die, right?"  
Lily couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Congratulations, Potter. You're even more stupid then I gave you credit for."  
She got up and stomped out of the library. James came jogging after her.  
"Hey," he said. "Don't be mad."  
"Why shouldn't I be mad? You're just like the Ministry. All you care about is saving poor little boys who provoke animals into hurting them by killing the poor things. It's in their nature. It's not their fault."  
"I didn't know you felt so strongly about this."  
"We've only known each other for about five minutes. Duh."  
"Why do you always do that?"  
"Do what?"  
"Every time I feel like you're opening up to me you clam up again."  
"Like you care?"  
"I'm you're friend. I'm supposed to care."  
"Excuse me?" Lily stopped walking in the middle of the stairwell and turned around to face him. "Let's get three things straight, Potter. Point one: We have exchanged about ten words between each other. That would hardly make me classify you as a friend. Point Two: I wasn't opening myself up to you. I was merely stating an opinion. Point Three: Get lost."  
"You're weird, Lily."  
Lily ignored him, turned back around and crashed into Sirius who was waiting for James on the step below her.  
"Oh, that was very well said, Lily," he said, nodding seriously. "I'm sure that will put dear Jamsie boy back in his place."  
"Shut up, moron."  
"Ooh, straight through the heart."  
Lily ignored his last comment and pushed past him, stomping her way back down the stairs to the Great Hall for lunch.  
She sat down at the Gryffindor table and speared a potato at the end of her fork, glaring at it. Damn Potter and his stupid antics to make me talk.  
"How's your new boyfriend?"  
Lily blinked and looked up. Jennifer Davison was sitting down beside her.  
"What?"  
"Your boyfriend. You know, James?"  
"He's not my boyfriend."  
"You were sitting in the library together."  
"Ah. Did it ever occur to you that I was sitting with him because Professor Binns is making us work together?"  
Jennifer shrugged. "Well, yeah, but you were sitting really close. Besides, he likes you."  
"What makes you think that?"  
"I heard him talking to Sirius Black on the stairwell. He said that you were the most intriguing girl he knew."  
Intriguing?  
"Well, I'm not interested in him," Lily said, pushing her chair back abruptly. Her potatoes suddenly looked very unappetising. Jennifer didn't seem to notice her discomfort.  
"You're really lucky, you know," she said, reaching for the potatoes. "Half the girls at school have a crush on him and he chose you out of all of them. I'm really jealous."  
"You don't have to be," Lily snapped, standing up. "You can have James Potter. I don't want him."  
She stormed back into the Entrance Hall towards the common room. So. James found her intriguing. Who cared?  
You're not interested in making friends, remember? Lily told herself as she made her way up the stairs. Not after what happened after you told Felicity Mitchell about your abnormality, as Petunia put it. That's what happens when you make friends. You can't trust any of them.  
*****  
"Ouch."  
Lily tried to walk but found she couldn't and looked back to see why. Her robes were caught in between the doors of Honeydukes and she could see the store keeper snickering behind the counter.  
With as much dignity as she could muster, she yanked her robes out of the door and stalked off with her nose in the air, accidentally banging into someone who was just about to go in.  
Today sucks, Lily thought to herself furiously as she rubbed her elbow where she had bumped herself. Maybe it would have been better if I said I'd go to Hogsmeade with James... nah.  
She kept walking down the street, heading nowhere-in-particular. It was a miserable day, grey and drizzly, and she had absolutely nothing to do. She caught sight of another group of seventh year girls who were peering around a wall and giggling.  
"Go on, Mia, ask him out."  
"I couldn't! What if he says no?"  
"What if he says yes?"  
"Do you think he would?"  
"Yes! Now, go for it, Mia."  
Immature, Lily thought, rolling her eyes. That was all the world revolved around these days. Money and the opposite sex.  
She sat herself down on a bench and looked boredly around her. She should start heading back to the castle... but what would she do there?  
Suddenly, there was a great crackle in the sky and rain began pelting down. People began shrieking and running for cover, but Lily stayed where she was. She didn't mind the rain. It suited her more than sunshine did. She shut her eyes and let the rain run down her face.  
"Lily, what the hell are you doing?"  
Lily opened her eyes. James was standing in front of her, peering out at her through rain-splattered glasses.  
"Sitting."  
James rolled his eyes. "I can see that. You do realize it's raining?"  
"I like rain."  
"Right. You're going to catch a cold of you stay out here much longer."  
"I'm not cold," Lily said abstinently, but that was a lie. Rain was running down her neck and she was shivering.  
"You don't even have a cloak on. Come on, we'll go to the Three Broomsticks or something for a drink."  
"I told you before I didn't want to go there with you...achoo!" Lily sneezed.  
"Come *on*." James grabbed her hand and tried to pull her off the stool. Lily slipped and almost fell off.  
"Leave me alone, Potter!"  
"Oh, for God's sake..." James suddenly dropped her arm and scooped her up in his arms.  
"Hey! Put me down!"  
James ignored her and began running through the rain towards the Three Broomsticks.  
"I said... Put. Me. Down. Right now."  
"Wait till we get there."  
"PUT ME DOWN, POTTER!"  
"Not until we get there."  
Lily began struggling in his arms, but he was a good bit stronger than she was so it didn't do any good. She thought about kicking him but decided that would be too mean. She lay in his arms fuming and thinking of all the things she was going to say to him once he put her down.  
James kicked the door of the Three Broomsticks open and entered. The door swung shut behind them. People stared as they walked in. It could have been because Lily's hair was in a disgusting, wet tangled mess and she looked basically like something the cat dragged in, but it was mostly because they had never seen James carry a seventeen-year-old girl into a restaurant before. James ignored their looks and set Lily back down on her feet.  
"So," he said. "Did you enjoy the ride?"  
Lily opened her mouth to start yelling at him and telling him exactly what she thought of it, but he quickly pulled out his wand and put a Silencing Charm on her so all she could do was mouth wordlessly at him.  
"Now, go take a seat over there," he said, "and maybe I'll take the charm off." He smiled charmingly at her while Lily fumed, knowing perfectly well that he was probably the only person who would care enough to reverse the charm. She whirled around and stalked off to the table he had pointed at, looking furious.  
Stupid James and his stupid attempts to get a girl to go to Hogsmeade with him, Lily thought furiously as she glared at his profile from the table. It seemed as though the only way he could get someone to go with him was to drag them into a restaurant and bribe them with food. How desperate could you get?  
James returned holding two tankards of Butterbeer and some cauldron cakes. He set a Butterbeer in front of her and sat down.  
"Drink," he said.  
Lily glared at him and shook her head.  
"Drink," he said. "Or I won't take that Charm off."  
Slowly, and almost painfully, she picked up the tankard of Butterbeer, raised into to her lips, and took a sip.  
James smiled. "Good," he said. He raised his wand and took the charm off.  
Lily opened her mouth to tell him a lot of really insulting and hurtful things that would make him break down into tears, but all that came out was, "Do you usually have to pick girls up and drag them into restaurants through pouring rain to get them to go out with you?"  
James laughed. "No. Not really. Usually, they're just queuing up to go out with me."  
"I'm sure," Lily muttered, picking up her tankard of Butterbeer again and drinking it. It warmed her up right to the bones, and for a moment she was almost grateful that James had bought her here.  
Almost.  
"Cauldron Cakes?" James asked, pushing the plate over to her.  
Lily wasn't about to take anything else he had brought for her.  
"No," she said. "They stick to your teeth too much."  
James shrugged. "Suit yourself," he said. He picked up a bottle of hot sauce from the table and began pouring it all over the cakes. Lily watched him with a mixture of fascination and amusement.  
"You're not really going to eat that, are you?" she said when he'd finished.  
"Of course," James said. "I am the master of eating hot sauce. I drank a whole bottle of this stuff once without stopping."  
Lily struggled not to laugh. 'You're going to make yourself sick eating that. I mean, Cauldron Cakes and hot sauce just do not go."  
James grinned. "Just watch me," he said. He picked up a Cauldron Cake and took a massive bite. He chewed twice, and immediately spat the whole lot back into his plate. Lily snorted with laughter as he grabbed his Butterbeer and attempted drain the whole thing to get rid of the disgusting taste that was still in his mouth.  
"The master of hot sauce, huh?" Lily said after she'd stopped laughing.  
"Well, I used to be," he said. He looked over the table and grinned at her. "You know, when I was a kid."  
Lily looked into his eyes for a moment and felt her heart give an odd flutter. She quickly looked away, flushing slightly. Why did he have to be so damn cute?  
"I have to go," she muttered, pushing her chair back. James looked disappointed.  
"Already? You haven't even finished your Butterbeer."  
"I didn't ask for it in the first place," Lily snapped, but seeing that James looked slightly hurt, she added, "but I did have fun. Sort of."  
James pretended to faint. "Could it be? Lily Evans, the Ice Queen, actually complimented me?"  
Lily laughed and slapped him lightly. "I didn't compliment you, I just..." She trailed off, not really sure what to call what she'd just said. She changed the subject. "I'm going back to school. See you later."  
She walked off out the door, practically skipping back to the castle and feeling ridiculously, inexplicably happy. It wasn't until she was half-way there before she realized what she had done.  
Dammit.  
I might have made a friend.  
*****  
I hate Christmas  
I hate Christmas  
I hate Christmas  
I wish it would die  
  
Lily scribbled in the cover of her Transfiguration book, not really caring what Professor McGonagall would say if she saw it. She hated Christmas. It would take her closer to Petunia... not to mention Felicity and her other so-called friends.  
Lily checked her watch then shut her book with a sigh. It was time for breakfast, the last time she would have breakfast here before the holidays began the next day.  
She dragged herself out of the portrait hole and began making her way to the Great Hall. She was half-way down the marble staircase when she heard someone calling behind her.  
"Lily! Wait up." James Potter came running down the staircase, his hair its usual ridiculous mess and looking inexplicably cute, as always.  
Lily continued walking. "What do you want?"  
"Sheesh. Can't I even start a normal conversation without you snapping at me? What happened to hi, how are you?"  
"Hi, how are you?" Lily said automatically.  
"Fine. And you?"  
"None of your business."  
James looked as though he were about to say something, but changed his mind.  
"Coming down for breakfast?"  
"Duh. Where does it look like I'm going?"  
James shrugged. "Just making conversation."  
"I never wanted one with you in the first place."  
"Why are you always so snappish?"  
"Why are you always so damn annoying?"  
"I'm not trying to annoy you. I'm trying to be your friend."  
"I don't need any friends. I'm fine on my own."  
"Touchy."  
"Shut *up*, Potter."  
"Jeez, you really get into the Christmas spirit, don't you?"  
"I told you to shut up."  
Lily stopped at the entrance of the Great Hall and turned to face him.  
"Look, Potter, quit hanging around me. Stop trying to be my friend because I don't need any friends and quite frankly, you would be the last person I would want as a friend. Just leave me alone so I can get on with my life and you can go find some other girl to bother--" she stopped abruptly and looked around her as people in the Hall began whistling and clapping. "What the hell..." She looked up. Her eyes widened in horror as she saw that a piece of floating Mistletoe had somehow found its way above her James' heads.  
Lily shook her head her slowly and backed away from him. "No. Way."  
James grinned at her. "Aw, Lily, don't go. The mistletoe means I have to kiss you, remember?"  
"I wouldn't kiss you if you were the last boy on earth--hey!" James had suddenly grabbed her around the waist and pulled her closer. "James, I swear to God if you kiss me I'll..."  
"You'll what?" James said, smiling teasingly. "Hate me? You already do."  
"James, don't," she said weakly, trying to push him away. Being so close to him was making her nervous.  
James laughed, pulled her closer and kissed her on the lips. Everyone in the hall began whistling and clapping, except for the girls who were staring at them and looking furiously envious.  
James let go of her and Lily stepped back, her head still spinning from the kiss. James grinned at her.  
"Later, Lily," he said, he went off to sit with her friends. Lily went off in the opposite direction, so preoccupied she didn't notice Dumbledore's eyes twinkling with amusement as she sat herself down to eat.  
*****  
It was later in the day and Lily was in the worst mood possible. She was reading to kill the next person who came up to give her more crap about kissing James. She wished she had never waited for him on the stairwell at all and just gone off without him. The Mistletoe probably would have caught them if she'd just done that. Although she couldn't help admitting to herself that maybe she liked the kiss, just a little...  
She was in the Entrance Hall when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs and recognized the voices of a bunch of Slytherin seventh years who would definitely be ready to give her crap about kissing James. Careful not to make any noise, she slipped out the door and outside into the cool, fresh air.  
It was cold and she was only wearing her robes. She breathed little clouds of air out of her mouth and walked down towards the lake.  
The snow was quite thick and white, and Lily half considered making a snow angel, but it reminded her too much of the good old days before she had found out that she was witch, so she didn't.  
She walked around the lake, feeling quite bored and tired and possibly lonely. She wished she was back in the common room but she knew the other seventh year girls would be waiting for her in there so she could tell them every detail of the kiss with James.  
Damn him. He always made her life so difficult.  
"Lily!"  
The voice seemed to come out of nowhere and Lily started, accidentally slipping on the ice and twisting her ankle sharply.  
"Owww," she moaned, shutting her eyes and clutching at it.  
"Are you okay?" said a concerned voice. Lily opened her eyes. James Potters' face swam slowly in front of it.  
"You *again*?" she said, trying to move away from him but her ankle hurt to much to go very far. She let out a whimper of pain.  
"Don't move," James said, moving closer. "You'll hurt it even worse. I'll help you up to the infirmary."  
"I don't need your stupid help," she snapped. "I can get there on my own."  
James watched as she carefully pulled herselt up and tried putting weight on her ankle.  
"Ow!" she said slipped again. James caught her just before she reached the ice and pulled her back up.  
"Lean on me," he said. "We'll have to go up together."  
Since it was obvious she wasn't going to get anywhere on her own, she grudgingly put her arm around his shoulders for support. James put an arm around her waist to help her, and they began making their way slowly back up to the castle.  
"What were you doing out here on your own, anyway?" James asked her as she limped along beside him.  
"Trying to get away from you... ow." Lily winced as she accidently put more weight on her ankle.  
"And why would you do that?"  
"Because of what you did to me this morning."  
James laughed. "It was only a kiss. It's not as if we're going to get married of anything."  
"I know that," Lily snapped. "I wouldn't want to marry you, anyway."  
"Then who would you marry?"  
"No one... who'd marry me anyway?"  
James smiled at her. "I know someone who might."  
"Yeah, sure," Lily said, leaning against him and limping along as fast as she could. "Who?"  
"You really want to know?"  
"Yeah."  
"Okay, then. Me."  
"Very funny, James."  
"What's so funny about it? I'm serious."  
A colder, sharper voice suddenley cut into their conversation. "What on earth are you two doing up here? You're meant to be inside."  
Lily quickly looked up to see Professor McGonagall striding across the snow towards them.  
"Lily hurt her ankle. I was just helping her up to the hospital wing to get it fixed," James said as Professor McGonagall reached them.  
"I see." Professor McGonagall looked down at her through her square spectacles. "Well, you can go inside now Potter, I'll take her the rest of the way."  
"Okay," James said. "See you, Lily." He winked at her and waved, then dispeared back up tot he castle. Lily stared after him.  
Strange. She had almost liked him then.  
Almost.  
*****  
James came to visit her in the infirmary after tea.  
"How're you feeling?" he asked.  
"Better," she said. "Madame Pomfrey fixed it in about a second."  
"Well, that 's good to know," he said. "You wouldn't want to be sick on Christmas Day, would you?"  
He turned to leave but Lily called after him. "James?"  
He turned back. "Yeah?"  
"You were only joking when you told me you wanted to marry me, right?"  
James smiled his easy smily and laughed. "Yeah. Course I was. I'll see you tomorrow, right?"  
"Yeah. Tomorrow," she said as he left.  
*****  
Lily sat in the backseat of the car, staring out the window and wishing she were back at Hogwarts. Her parents were up the front, talking.  
"Petunia will be there when we get home," her mother said. "And Adam and Claire and Joey are coming over for Christmas."  
"Great," said Lily with false enthusiasm.  
They turned down her seat. Lily caught sight of Felicity and her stuck-up city friends hanging around the corner near her house. Felicity saw her as they drove along and whispered to her friends. Lily saw her turning her index finger next to her ear and mouthing something like "crazy". Her friends all stared as she went by.  
Her mother caught sight of her face in the mirror.  
"Don't listen to them, honey," she said. "They'll all forget about it soon enough."  
Lily nodded mutely. After all these years, it was still hurtinig.  
*****  
It was only boxing day and Lily was seriously considering running away. Petunia had just gotten a new hair cut which (in LIly's opinion) only showed off more of her ugly face. Petunia obviously thought differently. She thought she looked like a sex goddess and was now strutting around the house wearing tight, thight toops with her boobs bursting out and her bum hanging over jeans that were way, way too small.  
Petunia often had one or two of her disgusting friend's over, and on this partinuclar day she had a pretty girl named Penny. Lily usually kept out of her way, but on this day she discovered she had left her Transfiguration book in the room they were watching viseos in and went in to get it.  
"Don't spill anything," Petunia snapped as she gingerly stepped around the buckets of popcorn and drinks that were scattered around the floor.  
As she bent down to retrieve her book, she heaard Penny say to Petunia, "Who's that?"  
"Oh, that's my sister," Petunia said carelessly. "You know, the one with the abnormailty."  
Lily shut her eyes tight and counted slowly to three before she began making her way back to the her bedroom.  
"She's usually away for most of the year but she's here for Christmas and she comes back for the Summer holidays too. Although," she added in a loud whisper. "I wish she'd stay at that place she goes to all year. Mum and dad are always worrying about what the little freak is about to do next."  
Lily saw red. She dropped her Transfiguration book and slowly turned around with her fists clenched at her sides. She walked up to Petunia, raised her hand and slapped her as hard as she could across the face.  
"You--you," Petunia spluttered. She seemed too stunned to do anything else. Penny just sat there with her jaw hanging open, staring at Lily in disbelief.  
"You--you LITTLE FREAK!" Petunia screamed at last.  
"I'm the freak?" Lily yelled back. "I'd rather be a freak, than--than you, Petunia!"  
Petunia lunged at her and both of them rolled along the floor, trying to rip eachothers' hair out while Penny looked on in disbelief.  
Mr and Mrs Evans arrived just in time to pull them apart.  
*****  
The next day, Lily was back at Hogwarts, holding her bags and trudging up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. Her parents had decided that it was probably best way to prevent her and Petunia from killing eachother. Lily was now carrying a handful of Petunia's newly cut hair with her a trophy.  
She burst into the common room, nearly knocking down James Potter who was on his way out.  
"What are you doing back here?" he asked in surprise.  
"Go away, Potter," she said tiredly as she pushed past him and made her way up to her dormitory.  
He was still waiting for her when she got back.  
"So what happened?" he asked.  
"I thought I told you to go away."  
"So you're not going to tell me?"  
"*No*."  
She picked up a book, sat down in the nearest arm chair and attempted to read. Five minutes later, she heard a voice nearby. "Tell me."  
She turned around to find James hiding at the bottom of her armchair.  
"I'm going to slap you if you don't leave me alone."  
James laughed and got up. "Okay. I'll just retreat to the library and tell Madame Pince that I'm up there because Lily Evans wouldn't tell me her deep, dark secret."  
"I don't have to tell you any of my secrets."  
"Your choice," James said. Then he added, "You know, I've got a secret, too."  
"I'm happy for you, Potter."  
"Don't you want to know what it is?"  
"Not really," she said in a very bored voice.  
"Should I tell you?"  
"I don't care."  
"I'll write it down for you." He got out scrap parchment and began scribbling something down. Lily watched him from the corner of her eye.  
"You're the most annoying person in the world, do you know that?"  
James laughed. "I reckon Sirius could give you a run for your money." He tore a bit off the parchment, folded it, and tossed it to her. "Later, Lily," he said before heading out the portait hole. It swung shut behind him.  
Lily looked curiously down at the paper in her lap. Then she gingerly picked it up and unfolded it.  
She almost died when she read the words written on it.  
No.  
No way.  
Not possible.  
She read it and re-read it again.  
I love you, Lily Evans.  
*****  
He was joking, Lily thought as she fell back on her pillows. Of course he was... it couldn't possibly be true...could it?  
Of course not, she decided. And even if he wasn't, she didn't like him anyway. He was so annoying, always hanging around her, wanting to be her friend... yes, he was annoying, she thought. But also extremely cute. Not to mention the fact that he was funny and a really good kisser..  
Yuck. Lily sat up in bed, rubbing her head. What the hell was wrong with her?  
"It's finally happened," she muttered to herself. "I've cracked it. I've completely lost it."  
Great. Now she was talking to herself.  
Lily got out of bed and sighed. James had to be joking. He didn't like her at all. And why should he anyway when she was always such a bitch to him?  
So just go back down stairs and pretend that it's a ordinary day, that nothing out of the ordinary happened and maybe everything will get back to normal.  
It seemed like the best plan to her so she went back down to the common room to do something completely normal.  
*****  
It was difficult trying to be normal when pictures of James POtter kept swimming up to her.  
Damn him, she thought furiously. Just stop thinking of him! But somehow,  
Okay. Normal. Be normal. I can do that.  
Then an echoing voice in her mind...  
"I've got a secret too..."  
"Oh, SHUT UP!" Lily yelled at last, jumping up and covering her ears with her hands.  
"But I didn't say anything," said someone behind her, wrapping their arms around her waist.  
Lily whirled around and found herself looking at James Potter.  
"Let me go," she said, not at all sure she wanted him to. James smiled at her teasingly.  
"So, did you read my little secret?" he said.  
"Yes."  
"And?"  
"And go away," Lily said.  
"So soon?" James said. "But we've only just started..."  
He bent his head and kissed her on the lips.  
"So do you likeme?" he said.  
"No," Lily said, her voice wavering.  
"Are you sure?"  
"No... I mean, yes," Lily said quickly.  
James laughed and brushed strands of hair from her face. "You're blushing," he teased.  
"Am not," Lily said, going redder.  
"You know I loved the moment I met you," he said. "Didn't realize it at first but now I do."  
"You did?" Lily said, feeling slightly dizzy.  
"Yes," James murmered softly. "And now the question remains... do you love me, Lily Evans?"  
'Maybe," Lily whispered. Being so close to him having a wierd effect on her brain.  
"Think about it," James said, kissing her between the eyes,. "And when you're sure, tell me," he said kissing her on the lips.  
Then he disapeared up the stairs, leaving Lily to her very confused thoughts.  
*****  
"I love him... I love him not," Lily muttered, pulling the petals off her sixth daisy. "I love him, I love him not, I love him." She tossed the stem away with a sigh and picked up a new daisy. That made it three for she loved him, three that she didn't. This was just getting stupid.  
Did she love James? She didn't know. She promised herself that she didn't need any friends after Felicity. But that was six years ago, a little voice in her head reminded her. Six whole years...  
Damn James. Why does he always have to come along and suff everything up?  
She looked at the daisy in her hand and tossed it away. She watched as it caught on the wind and disapeared near the Forbidden Forest. She got up.  
The daisies weren't doing her any good. She would have to make up her own mind.  
She left for the castle.  
*****  
James didn't quite know what had woken him up. He got up and put put on his glasses just as his dormitory door slammed shut.  
He glanced around and found a piece of parment nearby. He unfolded it and smiled when he saw what was written.  
I love you James Potter.  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
A/N: Okay, this is for anyone who's been reading Loving Lily. You're probably all ready to kill me. But I promise, promise, promise that the next part with will coming out soon. I've just had a really bad couple of weeks. All my exams were on so I was up studying most nights. I think I blew Maths and my stool collapsed in woodwork after the teacher trialled it, which I found pretty funny until I got my mark back. Whoops. So you'll forgive me, right?   
Thanks for all the reviews, especially Little Witch who reviewed ALL my stories *grins and hugs her*. And if any of you review this one then I'll love you forever.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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